Behaviour Management Strategies
By Kath O'Neill - Added 16th of November 2008Behaviour Management Strategies
If your child is not doing as they have been told, don?t shout, don?t be confrontational, don?t argue with them. Try giving them a choice, for example, ?If you come down from the tree we can discuss what the problem is. If you stay up there then there is nothing I can do to help you.? This has to been seen as the child?s decision.
Make eye contact with the child. If they do something wrong, explain what has been done wrong and that you will not be their friend if their behaviour does not improve. Children love being friends with you.
If the child is behaving in a threatening way or being destructive try distracting them. ?Wow, look what is over there!! Shall we go and have a look?? ? Mrs X. wants a job done and has asked for you because she knows just how sensible you are.? If they are beyond reasoning, restrain the child very carefully and talk about a subject that interests them or something that may be happening later in the day. Once the child has calmed down try reasoning with them, telling them clearly what you expect from them. Children know that what they are doing is wrong - ask them if they think they should really be acting in this way.
Always remember that it may be something at home, school or out playing that has triggered their reaction. You are the adult, and the child must do as you ask. Even if the incident seems trivial to you, something as small as a grown up not waving goodbye in the morning may be a major factor. Make the child feel important, and make sure they know that their feelings and views are important. Talk to them about their opinions, what they do and don?t enjoy - we all have needs, wants and opinions!
Do not push the child away - you may not be the problem but can probably help to sort it out! Find the time to sit and talk with your child. Household chores or work may be important, but spending 10 minutes just talking to your child is far more important. They will feel more loved and wanted, and will be more compliant with you.
Try a reward system top encourage positive behaviour. Children love stickers, sweet and praise. Praise is very important with any child. Even adults feel happier when someone comments on how well you have done something. Praise will help raise the child?s self esteem and make them more co-operative and confident. Never call them names or say they are stupid. Tell them how much they are loved and how well they are doing.
If a child really doesn?t want to do something, leave it. Nothing is worth upsetting yourself and the child for. Make sure they know you are not happy with the situation and that the thing you wanted done will have to be done at another time, even if it is tomorrow. When the crisis has passed explain that you didn?t like their behaviour, but you still love them.